Mother's Day Gift 2013

Hubs' gift to me was the Aerosmith concert. But the best thing that I was thankful for, that never ceases to make me smile and go giddy... is Yamee talking.

Sometimes, the words are very distinct... sometimes, fairly understandable... sometimes mind-boggling. But he is talking more and not just words too. Because he just repeated the "Mama, what are you doing?" phrase his Kuya was chanting earlier. And yes, he was prompted with Raisinets as incentive but he has said the words, "I love Mama/Papa" :)

Now, he even automatically says 'Thank You' :)

So... I make my cousin and sister humor me by talking to him on the phone :) I prompt him a lot but they get to hear him speak in his super sweet voice so it's worth the effort (and well, calls are free via Viber).

So.. despite the fact that he's still cantankerous a third of the time, I will admit to cutting him a bigger slack just because he is sooooo cute when he talks, babbles and sings. Sometimes, you can even sense that he is telling a story through play.

I really, really thank God for this blessing.

And yes, he signs more now too.... so communication is easier and more rewarding.

*~*

Meanwhile, Yakee is Best in Basic Freestyle and Yamee amazes his swim teacher so much, she ends up hugging him all the time. I thank God for that too... that my sons enjoy the water and that we had the means to send them to such classes.

Time for Music Lessons?

Yakee would often say that he wants to learn to play the drums. I am insisting he learns the recorder first (and with Waldorf, he'd do it by age 7 for his lungs) plus I didn't want his developing ears to be subjected to that much noise already (ear plugs notwithstanding).

Hubs and I have been discussing how we will go about this, since we live so far away from TMA/Tiendesitas to enroll the kids with their affiliated programs. I sometimes check out alvarez guitars from musicians friend (because I can't help but think that playing the guitar will go along way in fine motor development for Yakee, plus add to his appeal, haha) but I really should find tutors or centers that will teach him music the way I want him taught. In the progression that Waldorf follows (because I believe in their system).

Yakee is only five. Some say that's a good age to start lessons. Maybe we will start soon... or maybe wait.

Neglectful Momma

On one hand, by a stroke of luck... we suddenly have a new helper again. And she seems to be very industrious. Since I don't have very high expectations from helpers, I already find her a gem. Hopefully, she stays long with us and doesn't ever steal from us.

And... my cousin, who will do repairs in our home, is already here with his family. So, the boys are actually feverishly happy that we have guests :) They have not even come to me for anything since they woke up.

But... I have been a very neglectful Mom. I am consumed with this desire for time alone. PMS? Depression? Both? Sigh.

I have been a slave of my phone and tablet too... much to the dismay of the kids. Somebody bop me in the head. Part of me thinks it's because we will be enrolling soon... haha, I know, that reason again. But June is coming and expectations over results is threatening my inner equilibrium...

Breaking Mean Bones, Breaking Hearts

About two weeks ago... I heard Yamee cry in pain. I'm a mom who can differentiate cries, after all.

Yakee told me that Yamee poured hot water over himself. I saw the reddish skin. I asked Yakee to tell me thr truth about what happened, and he insisted on his story. So, I started scolding Yamee... telling him that I did tell him the water was hot (they were steaming) and asked him who got the hot water. He immediately pointed to his brother. I asked him who poured hot water over him. He again pointed to his brother. I asked him what Kuya used, and he pointed to the shampoo cap.

That night, Yakee got spanked for hurting, lying and disobeying (because I asked him to tell me the truth). He was also deprived of screen time for two days, and wasn't read to for two nights. Those were important to him so we thought withdrawing those would bring home the lesson more.

Unfortunately, it didn't.

Earlier tonight, I heard Yamee cry again... Yakee told me his brother hurt his chin on the chair. As I was comforting Yamee, I asked where it hurts so I could kiss it. He pointed to his nostril. I asked why would his nose hurt, he immediately pointed to his brother.

Yakee was profuse with SORRYs for lying and hurting his brother... and I carted Bunso away because I couldn't handle Yakee yet.

Later, when he would try to talk to me, I would just tell him I wasn't ready to talk to him. He started getting teary and asked, "You don't like me anymore?"

So... I asked my N@W support group for inputs. I wanted to heavily punish Yakee because I really didn't want him lying... plus, I felt Yamee had to be avenged somehow. I felt... I was both their Mom and had to be fair. But I also knew Yakee is only 5 and will learn these lessons in virtue in increments. What was I going to do? What was a natural, logical consequence to the lying and hurting?

My friends reminded me to use stories and extend my grace. I told hubs we should talk about the discipline first... and agreed that withdrawing privileges do not really work with Yakee, and that we're better off appealing to his emotions.

So, after bath... we spanked Yakee because we promised him it would happen when he lies again. And we do not lie. We also keep our promises. But we hugged him and talked to him. We showed him a picture of a child with a bleeding nose and discussed how we're sure he doesn't want that to happen to his brother, who he loves. We explained again that we love him and have to train him to be good. And then hubs told him I will show him what happens when he lies.

I cut up 4 hearts, wrote our names and posted them on our wall while saying... "Pappie doesn't lie and he loves Mommy best. They do not lie to each other so their hearts are close. They love Yamee and do not lie to Yamee and Yamee does not lie to them so their hearts are close. They love Yakee too but because of reasons that are his own, Yakee lied and thought only of himself... Which moved his heart away from the family."

I really  cried while doing this, and hubs took advantage by asking Yakee if he can see how sad I am because he lied... so Yakee also cried buckets while I held him. Then hubby posted Yakee's heart about 2 inches away from ours. to serve as a reminder  to our poor eldest in  the coming days of what lying and hurting does to a family. Hope it works.

We made sure to tell him we love him and that it's because we love that makes us serious and committed to raising him good.

We also cried while praying, and Pappie was hugging Yakee as our child cried. Yakee was wiping tears till I tucked him in bed.

And both of us parents couldn't sleep after.

Balik Bukid Country Fair on the 28th

Are we going or are we not going?

Sigh.

I am a little wary of the summer heat and would much prefer the November one... but I can't stop thinking of Isobel's ice cream plus the chance to just let the kids be outdoors and in nature again.




Where else can the boys play jockey without need of horse riding apparel?

Hopefully, the money I am missing was just really misplaced so that we'll have budget for this. Plus, I think Yakee would love to see old friends there.

No Way, No!

U.N. Report Advocates Teaching Masturbation to 5-Year-Olds

While I am sure this isn't as sensational as it reads right now... there are still several things that I find seriously wrong about this picture.

First... I believe in sex education but I also believe in letting children be children. I know kids go through a phallic stage but I would rather teach better gendering (how not to be so rough for boys, and how to be more active for girls) to kids rather than teach them about ideas like masturbation (unless asked). I would rather they are taught of social graces and responsibilities, rather than where to get safe abortions. 

Second... though I understand the real tragedy that is HIV/AIDS and other reproductive health issues compromising the health and welfare of women and children, I really don't think one can teach about sexual responsibility without a proper value framework. Sure, using religion sometimes turn more people off from safer sex practices and sexual responsibility BUT you really can't be tackling ideas without it being in the context of values, priorities and what dignifies a human being.

Third... I would rather parents are taught to properly address their children's questions because they then can be better parents to all their children. Wouldn't that be more cost effective in the long run as well? 

Fourth... thinking of marginalized people with no education, support and options... what would concepts mean to them? How is a child of 8 who knows about abortions be saved from premarital sex, promiscuity and abuse? All they'd know is that there is a concept like abortion and it might provide a 'solution' to whatever happened to them.

Yikes!

So, no... no way, no!

*~*

I seriously hope this isn't their answer to this GIRL EFFECT MOVEMENT

My Age Doesn't Matter Anymore

A friend posted this on FB:
In about a month, the boy and I will be celebrating our birthdays and I have to say that while turning 36 doesn't faze me one bit, my son turning 7 is a little bit depressing.

Sigh... Yakee will turn 6 four days after I turn 36. Yamee will turn three a few days before hubby will turn 37. Our birthdays have ceased to be our own because we had kids to share them with. But what my friend said  resonated so well with me.

More like, they're heartbreaking.

Nowadays, I can't seem to stop myself from saying how we don't have a baby anymore... as Yamee is all grown up (at 2) and defiant. And I look at Yakee and keep seeing the handsome man he will grow up to be, and I can't help but see visions of girls competing for his attention and loyalty.

Sometimes, I think, I even delay mentoring him because I want to preserve just a little more dependence on me, just a little more need of me. I know, it's soooo bad and mean of Mommy.

I think Yakee is feeling the growing up too... because he's been asking more and more to sleep in the big bed again, or for me to meme (caress) him while he sleeps if I wake up in the middle of the night. I think, unconsciously, he knows that babyhood is no more... at least for him.

How fast the five or so years have gone by, looking at them from here. But while living them, they felt every bit of the five years. So, it's really hard to explain the why of this sentimentality... then again, other parents will just understand. They've gone through the same.