Planning HK Itinerary

One of our must-visits in Hong Kong is the Hong Kong Computer Festival and we'd be getting there on the last day of that gadget expo. Hubby is already salivating from the idea of what he'd see there (a lot of hardware, some MegaMeeting video conferencing software probably, and all the Chinese knockoffs one can imagine, I bet) and I think he might be driven to purchase yet another tablet.

Anyway, I just hope we can really accommodate what I have come up with so far. We really need a high-low-high-low actitvity ceremony. The geek in me is also super duper excited at our visit to the Science Museum because I just know it, my Yakee will love it there.

Hope no one gets sick...

First Conversation on Death

Yamee woke up crying and so I rushed to breastfeed him. Yakee, still awake, suddenly asked out of the blue: "Mommy, will you be dead on Wednesday?"

And this is how our conversation went:
Me: What?
Y: Will you be dead?
Me: You mean, will I die?
Y: Yes.
Me: Yes, I will die. In time.
Y: Why?
Me: Because everybody dies. All living things die.
Y: Where will you go?
Me: Hmmm... hopefully heaven.
Y: Wy?
Me: Because I want to go there, but not anytime soon.
Y: Will I see you with the glass, like the lola?
(amazed na he's only now talking about the wake we went to over a month ago)
Me: You mean, will you see me in a coffin, and you'd look at me through the glass, like the dead lola?
Y: Yes!
Me: Well, yes. I will be in a coffin too. Hopefully, not soon.
Y: What will dead you?
Me: You mean, what will kill me?
Y: Yes, what will make you dead?
Me: Maybe a disease. Hopefully, old age? And hopefully, not yet anytime soon.
(long pause)
(incoherent words)
Y: You will not be dead with guns?
Me: I hope not baby.
Y: Why?
Me: I really hope to just die of old age. I don't want to die from guns. That would be a terrible way to die.
Y: Yes (and makes firing actions and noises)
Me: I hope I won't die yet. I want to see you grow up.
(pause again)
Y: What made the lola dead?
Me: Oh, the lola was sick, died from a bad heart. And I think, old age too.
Y: What made the lola sick?
Me: Her heart was old so it got... (struggling to find words he'd understand) broken.
Y: Broken?
Me: Well you see, baby, hearts are like batteries. When they run out of charge, they won't work anymore. So, a person will die.
Y: Why is the lola old?
Me: Because she lived many, many years.
Y: What number of years?
Me: She lived past 80 years. You have only lived almost 4 years. So, the lola... she's lived a loooooooooong time.
Y: Where did she live?
Me: In their house in QC
Y: Why?
Me: Because that's where she and her family lived.
Y: Who is her family, what are their names?
Me: I don't know their names, I only know my friend's name. Rolly. Now, go to bed and sleep Iakob. Yamee cannot sleep because we're talking. We can talk about death some more tomorrow.

It felt morbid talking in the dark about death... and I am superstitious enough to wonder, what if my son felt something (premonition?). But all in all, at least i've managed to gauge that he's still not yet scared of the idea.

And talking about death didn't make me feel uncomfy... now, let them start asking questions about sex... and i'm sure i'd UHM my way through the thing. Haha.

The Dream

Last Friday, I happened to see two of my batchmates from my LATCH training. One of them is the Mom of my son's 'classmate' at St. Michael, the other one is now based in Puerto Princesa as a yoga instructor. They're the moms behind Indigo Baby :)

Anyway, Monica shared that they're starting their own version of St. Michael Playhouse in Puerto Princesa. I was happy for them, for Palawan in general... but also a little bit envious. How can other moms just do the things I want to be doing?

I remembered Nanay Ines of Arugaan always telling me to keep dropping by Arugaan to get pointers... and start my own creche. Arugaan and St. Michael have a lot of similarities and it would be really great to be able to embrace the lifestyle change they offer: going more organic, environment-friendly and child-involved.

I am not sure if I have a green thumb but there is that dream of growing our own vegetables and tending to backyard chicken coops with my sons. I hope to have a self-sufficient home utilizing solar energy and recycling water. And just lots of space where my sons can run free and imagine possibilities while learning about Science and Math :)

That is the dream. I hope I realize it someday.

*~*

Another set of signs I'm sort of getting composes the following:
1) A N@Wie friend who has started training to be a marriage and family counselor.
2) My college friend egging me to take up counselling with her.
3) A blog friend working as a part-time counselor under Ms. maribel Dionisio of the Love Institute.

I also hope to be a marriage and family counselor. It sort of feels like a natural progression from my stint as a peer counselor for reproductive health and teen issues from all those years ago. I am, sort of, a breastfeeding peer counselor now. Oh, and I also sort of want to be a child nutrition expert. But anyway, the deal is... since I am a wife and parent, I want to be an expert on family life and help others that way too because it is now what's relevant to me.

I am still struggling now with being a good enough wife and mom and I don't have energy for serious academic commitments.

But someday... when I've had more family life experience, I might study to become a professional counselor. When I know better, maybe i'd also learn to be better faster.

That is another dream.

Taking Breastfeeding Further

"Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council - Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme "Isulong ang Breastfeeding - Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!" Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants."

The most nutritious thing for Nutrition Month is such a perfect theme and there are no words to how amazed and delighted I am that DOH seems to really have embraced breastfeeding advocacy.

Personally, I know I have done a lot for breastfeeding. I certainly talk about it a lot, and can talk about it for hours (nay, days). I have blogged about it many times, not just my journey but things that frustrate me, and things I have learned. I have even blogged about the best nursing tops to breastfeeding-related events. When Ondoy struck, I joined three breastfeeding missions (Rizal, Pasig and Laguna). I have also joined L.A.T.C.H. to know more about breastfeeding and be trained as a breastfeeding peer counselor.

I also literally troll my yahoogroups and forums for those with breastfeeding queries and in need of support.

And I breastfeed in public, very seldom with cover, because I actually hope to inspire other people to think about how 'natural' it is.

BUT...

I have only volunteered for two TMC sessions, so far. And I do get weary answering the same questions... and sometimes also lack tact and gentleness when I do respond to them. For a while, I was even very judgmental of how other mothers can choose formula over breast. My current pet peeves are Judy Ann Santos and "I just gave birth and I don't have milk yet" sentiments. And I have not yet visited the clinic in our street and offered my services there.

In short, there is lots of room for improvement in me. There is so much more I can do. I can be so much more. And... I can potentially save more lives.

And so I strive to be gentle, even when I am frustrated. I answer the same questions again and again and again. I run the risk of alienating Facebook friends by speaking the truth. And I make sure everyone knows I have taken a side: this side.

Now... I hope I won't be so shy and lacking initiative to approach people of power I can connect with... to bring breastfeeding talks (and thus, awareness) to the masses.

*~*

I think this is the perfect time to also blog about things I feel the government can do to further breastfeeding awareness, support and advocacy.

DOH should really work with all other government agencies.

Get DECS to incorporate breastfeeding into children's books (Math sample problem: Nanay pumped milk at 8:00 AM and was able to express 3 ounces of milk. If she does the same two more times with the same volume of output, how much milk will she have pumped by the end of the day?... Health sample question: Give three examples of galactagogues.) and improve the medical curriculum to actually include a subject on breastfeeding for would-be doctors/medical practitioners. Children have to be enculturated back to a time when breastfeeding was natural and typical and common. The campaign with kids and in schools need not be aggressive, but pictures and storylines of making formula for a child just really has to be stopped and in their stead, more pictures of breastfeeding/babywearing indigenous cultures.

Get a law enacted to prohibit any entity from giving free samples of formula.

Tweak maternity leave due to mothers. While other countries enjoy up to a year of maternity leave with security of tenure, I really don't think our economy can afford that luxury. But I think we can improve on our current maternity leave by making it two months plus all Wednesdays till the 6th month. This ensures that working mothers will have that Wednesday breather from the stress of pumping at work. It just might also fuel productivity since working moms will know it's only 2 days before they can take care of their babies and directly breastfeed again. That's basically just 16-18 extra days that are potentially the same number of days a new mom has to be absent/goes to work unproductive due to a new baby/sick child.

Quit with the generic "breastfeeding is best for babies up to two years and beyond" bit in TV ads/formual cartons/posters. Have catchier slogans ("human milk for human babies"), funny cartoons or outright correct information instead ("breastfeeding reduces cancer risks for both mother and child" or "exclusive breastfeeding in the first six months can save you at least P20k, which you can use to spend on vaccines").

Maybe, DOH can also get volunteers (nutrition students' practicum? hehe) or work with hospitals to hold impromptu talks for waiting preggos in OB clinics.

Instead of breastfeeding stations wherein you have to invest in separate rooms, maybe public areas like malls can allocate seating areas with signs saying, "if you're breastfeeding, sit here" :D (well, it can double as rest area for preggos and the elderly too).

And can it be made a practice for OB Gyns to instruct a prenatal consult with the pedia, who can then discuss feeding and caring options/information with the parents?

The thing is, since breastfeeding benefits a lot of aspects (health, environment), there should also be a more wholistic and concerted approach to its promotion. And we have to support the mothers most because it generally is their battle, their investment, their lifestyle change. And the government should feel free to tax tobbaco and milk companies more to finance these endeavors... hehe... after all, breastfeeding reduces cancer risks and allergy risks, which smoking and formula milk perpetrate.

*~*

Please find the time to also read the entries of the other Milk Mamas joining this carnival :)

Dainty Mom reminds not to bash formula feeders

Lazy Mama also encourage breastfeeding in public and Legally Mom doesn't do it in nursing stations
and Frannie pumps even with male colleagues around

The Painter's Wife is informed and fearless

Dinna, the low milk supply mommy did it

We also get breastfeeding promotion tips from a fearless formula feeder which offers a lot of insights

I would also love a billboard on EDSA featuring celebs with mass appeal

Benz is the chillax advocate but oh, has she the influence

Breastfeeding Mama prepared herself for it and Rachel just hearts breastfeeding

Reach out to other moms, be encouraging to them and maybe we can really push for longer maternity leaves

Having the right information and support will help moms who weren't succesful do better next time, since the right psychology can help you succeed

And here's Deng, who actually stars in some breastfeeding ads while June breastfeeds with her sisters.

And as the perfect cap, a juxtapostion of Jenny's take on breastfeeding promotion in the Philippines and what a doctor Mum wants to see in UK

Mean Mom Days

Lately I have been sending my eldest to bed without reading, lullabies and caresses... because he's also lately been really pushing his limits and trying to negotiate, delay or rebel against instructions. I trained him by telling him he has so many minutes left for play or eating and now, he asks me for extra five minutes here and there and insists on the number of minutes even after sooo much time has passed. Makes me want to purchase a timer asap, just so we'd both be more mindful of time.

I've also been really frustrated with his kind of play... I've caught him 'playing' with Yamee by tying a jumping rope around his neck, hitting jis face with a net or crushing a pillow on his face. He is really just playing and it doesn't help our discipline that Yamee giggles when his older brother does these inappropriate things.

Sigh.

Someday, when television stands and ice cream cones and homecooked meals are really things of the past, I hope what I am trying to instill in my sons, like obedience and loving presence, will have been ingrained... and working for them.

Everyday is a struggle. But everyday, I do see the promise of greatness.

Ballooning Momma

Wearing my pink shirt the other day and trying out shorts at the mall, I realized that I have lost my waist yet again. I am now officially a rectangle again... probably pushing 150 lbs. again.

I felt the weight gain starting when Yamee started eating solids. And well, I have been having a chocolate feast, with all the cookies and ice cream I have been eating. No one to blame but me, I know.

And yes, it's high time to get the workout zumba working for me. I should be ashamed to be missing the Mommy Milkshake Marathon come August (but well, since I get cramps just standing for a longer period of time, I am really unfit to do any running).

Breastfeeding Month is also Mom's Month

August is breastfeeding month and it's such a perfect opportunity for more Mom gifts, I think, ones that show support to breastfeeding and appreciation of all that it requires from a woman.

Clueless husbands can just click here for ideas, or just give their wives free rein in shops like Indigo Baby, Mama.Baby.Love or Eden :) Spa certificates will also be welcome for moms with aching backs, plus, it will relax them enough to give of themselves more freely.

I can't wait for my boys to be old enough to come up with their own gifts. I'd appreciate handprinted shirts, little ones, since you've already marked my heart for life... as yours.