Bye, Bye Year

How was I as a mother this 2009?

I was not very consistent, but I was very intentional. I attended seminars, I read books, and I was open to different parenting techniques. Plus, I embraced breastfeeding and sign language and intentional parenting in a level I haven't before. Weirdly enough, I became someone mothers turned to for information and support, for guidance and comfort.

But like what I said, I was not very consistent. I still didn't enforce a routine and I still got stressed because I wanted to control my child. I was also not that consistent in discipline so I struggled more over it.

But did I enjoy myself as a Mom? I sure did.

I relished every milestone reached by my son. Sometimes, I can even afford to feel validated because of how happy and healthy he is. And I still enjoy cuddling to him everyday, still enjoy the fact that I am a Mom, still look forward to the days when we'd really get to talk and learn about the many wonders of the world together, and still mourn the fact that every step forward is a step away from the baby that he was.

So yeah, I am still immensely grateful, privileged and blessed that I am a Mom. May I be a better one next year!

Travel Plans for Next Year

It's too soon to plan orlando vacations, or too impractical, since we really don't have the money for it yet, but we're already planning trips for the first half of next year. See, we have to allocate money for the plane fares if we're ever going to Marinduque, and this time, Yakee won't be travelling free anymore. That means he's also paying terminal fee already.

And then there's his swimming lessons and possibly, Kindermusik lessons. Am also wondering if I should enrol him in CFA's reading program already. Maybe if I don't get to teach him satisfactorily enough the first half of 2010, I will.

Even a HongKong trip will have to wait for when Yakee's old enough to really appreciate it, and not demand to be carried around everywhere. I am wondering if it's too soon for a Donsol or back-to-Coron trip though... or if we should just go somewhere else in Visayas where there'd be a beach he can enjoy.

It's good to dream, isn't it?

Here's To Not Bingeing

Okay, I am not exactly starving either. But at least am not bingeing. Plus, since they liked my paksiw adobo so much and I made squash soup after Christmas, we've had relatively healthier viands and weren't living on liempo and barbecue.

But I really cringe at how much I'd weigh come next week. I know I'd probably need fat burners!!! But at least, am not bingeing. There's no ice cream and I can't afford to eat too much sweets because of my cough and sensitive throat. So we also don't live on cake. And we'd be baking cookies tomorrow but it's mostly for New Year consumption.

Already, MIL is preparing to bake apple pie, make callos and chicken galantina and fruit salad. I only really eat the chicken part of the galantina (I don't like the stuffing) and maybe the sauce of the callos.

Now, I should cut down on rice.

Yearend Plans

First, there will be baking of cookies. And cooking of fattening foods for Media Noche. But hubs and I are also going to scout their area for manufactured homes within our budget (read: something we hope we can afford). Condos are out of the question but a townhouse without a yard will do. They have parks here anyway for my overactive son so he will get to run about and enjoy some fresh air at least.

The important thing is to make owning a home a priority come next year. Other things are sure to fall into place once that one's been settled.

Stubborn Gift Giver

One niece of mine has been vocal about not wanting books as Christmas present. I also know for a fact that my other nephews won't be too keen on getting books as presents. But I was intent on giving books and Filipino products and recycling/reusing stuff for packaging. Plus, because my son is leaping and bounding in learning, I am more excited about books than before.

So I gave books and just gritted my teeth for the lackluster reception to them. If there's one of them who will someday thank me, however silently, for having given a particular book, then that's enough repayment for all the hassle and expense. If there's one of them who will grow up knowing about Symbol LS2208 bar code scanners and astronauts and dinosaurs, if one of them will absolutely love mythology and the classics, if one of them will grow up with a passion for reading and learning like I do, then I can say that this Christmas, I invested well.

*~*

My son says WOW to his own books again and again. He'd love remote control cars and play with singing puppy dogs and flying planes, but his love for books and stories is apparent. I couldn't be prouder, or happier :)

A Mother's Voice Chases Away Night Terrors

Son had a bad case of night terrors just an hour or so ago. It was the first time he couldn't be consoled and sounded like he was in pain. But I also couldn't say that he was fully awake. He was not even calling out to me, which he usually does when he has such episodes.

For five minutes, no amount of "mommy's here baby, it's okay" could pacify him. And then I asked him softly if he wanted me to sing, and he immediately stopped crying. And I hummed his current favorite song (Tuhog na Bulaklak, Flores de Mayo song) and he quited down and later settled back to sleep.

That's how I know he wasn't really hurting over anything. In a way, I shouldn't be touched that I have that effect on him because he's also probably working all the spanking and bad blood between us these past few days in his psyche. Sigh.

It's the lack of sleep and PMS and his greater demands that is making me hellbent on maintaining control. I keep forgetting that am not here to control him, but to guide him and inspire him.

Overweight and Dowdy

I tried shopping for clothes. I really did. I even mustered the courage and energy to fit clothes.

I am sure there are clothes that would still look good on me but the thing is, I feel ugly and dowdy. So the shopping is always not a success. I have projected to really diet and exercise next year/month because I know dieting over the Holidays is like asking for ice cream not to melt in your hands in the height of summer. And thankfully, slight coughs and colds have rendered me disinterested with sweets. My only craving these days is KFC (an order of 1 piece chicken and Go-Go sandwich). But really, I am trying hard to look for ways and means to keep myself inspired and committed next month.

I don't want to have to check out new life insurance rates because my weight is issue enough to make me worried about dying young. Plus, I have to prove that I love my son enough to keep his Mom around for a number of years yet (God willing) and to raise him seeing that eating and living healthy is doable and fun. I've seen enough of cancer to last me a lifetime...