Having More Kids

aka My Reasons for Wanting Kids Without Big Age Gaps
(the other side of the coin in italics... so as not to be totally one-sided, plus, everything can be turned into something positive, or at least, workable/livable)

~ I got married late. I hope to be finished giving birth at age 35 and I am now 31 (with a one-year old). Hopefully, i'd have two more.

~ My first pregnancy was a difficult one and I fear that age might complicate the next ones. So I want to give birth the youngest I can to all three, without totally compromising my body, my sanity and the family I already have. So giving birth every two years sounds ideal for my circumstance.

~ I am not easily impregnated. I fear waiting longer would also lengthen the waiting period (or challenge my fertility more because i'm polycystic and irregular at best)
(although pregnancies in a woman's 30s and 40s are more at risk of complications to both mother and child, technology and modern medicine has come a long way to come to their aid... conception is also facilitated by many different kinds of fertility treatments now)

~ I quit my job to be as involved as I can in my child's life. I also dropped my subjects because I couldn't manage it with my son's demands. I want to be able to give the same level of devotion to the younger kids. But I also miss certain things that I cannot fully enjoy with a baby. So might as well have kids who will cease to be babies together than to already be enjoying night outs again only to have to stay home again for a squalling, needful child. The culture shock of switching roles and giving up social enjoyments is costly to one's sanity, believe me. So I hope, by 40, I can do other things for ME again without worrying over an infant or toddler.
(I can have those ME times if I really want them, i'd just have to adjust my thinking and adapt another lifestyle and maybe adjust my standards... like weaning a child early so I can go mountaineering already, getting a yaya so I can have nights off more regularly, etc)

~ They say a plane uses around half of its fuel/energy source upon taking off. The same is true for mothering babies. So I want to have the next ones when I still fully remember attending to one. I don't want to have already adjusted to a pre-schooler and then have to learn all over again handling an infant.
(Learning to nurture is like riding a bicycle. Although it will take effort again to adjust to a wee one, it still wouldn't be as hard as learning for the first time)

~ This is the youngest i'll ever be and I really want to have babies when I still have the energy and the health to run after them. I also don't want to be sick or dead at 50 and leaving children behind.
(on the upside, having kids later may mean they'd have gentler, more mellow parents... not one quick to anger or frustration. And kids are resilient, so as long as other capable hands will be there for them, they can still grow up happy.)

~ I am hoping to homeschool my kids. So having them with close age ranges will mean i'll be finished with homeschooling sooner rather than later.

~ I fear that bigger age gaps make for more jealous older siblings. I think that the younger a child is, the easier he accepts the new one and makes room for it as opposed to an older child, who has to give up more years of 'baby' role.
(then again, having a much older sibling will mean extra helping hands for the new baby and someone who you can communicate his feelings of jealousy and displacement at a more verbal level)

~ Young babies limit one's choices in travelling and going out, and an older child might want or ask for outings which we cannot accommodate because of a baby. I want to limit those possibilities so the older child wouldn't feel restricted so much by the younger child, and when they're more grown up, the younger child wouldn't feel so denied/left behind by the older child
(parents can still manage these through a divide and conquer scheme, wherein one parent goes with the older child while the other attends to the other... besides, children will also have to share their parents anyway and be considerate of everyone in the family, even if it's their birthday)

The Beasts In Children

My friend's 11-year old daughter got stoned for being Asian in New Zealand.

Sadly... children nowadays are becoming prey to fellow children. There wasn't as much bullying in my school days as there are being reported now. And kids are even being bullied in cyber space. And they are committing suicide, getting depressed, and losing their way much earlier than before.

Of course I blame the parents.

Only hurt and morally crippled kids can bear to hurt innocents. Only hurt, neglected kids can be angry enough to lash out on other kids who are different, to make them feel better and relevant.

I shall never excuse a child's bad behavior but his parents will always be equally accountable, maybe even more so, especially if the child is still really young. It's our job to set them right. It's our job to make sure no parent out there is anguished because her child has just been violated and traumatized.

Britney: Still the Hypocrite

Britney talked about how her sons have been using bad words, which she says they may be hearing their Dad use.

I won't be surprised that Kevin Federline uses the F word around his kids. But I also wouldn't put it past Britney to be doing the same. I love how she's turned her life around (it seems) but she doesn't think it harmless to drink or smoke around her tots, so what's to stop her from cussing?

Please!

Bronx Mowgli

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson named their son Bronx Mowgli.

I just hope he really grows up cool and talented and handsome and good... because otherwise, his name is horrible.

And I dunno... no matter what Pete and Ashlee says, am with those who believe they chose the name for sheer shock/commercial value.

A Mom's Rings

I know... I have lamented about it already before, how my hands are seldom dry from washing one thing or another as I go through my SAHM business.

And I know for a fact that others like me don't get to wear their wedding rings and engagement rings a lot anymore, even when we're going out. They're actually very easy to forget when you're still trying to squeeze your son's foot in a shoe as you go out the door.

And it's really a bummer since I was hoping I could get my husband to buy me an eternity ring too. But that would be pointless really.

And no, wearing my rings all the time is out of the question. My wedding ring is pretty heavy duty but the design (which was brilliant when I first suggested it) is a nightmare for leftover muck. And I do not want anything ruining my pretty engagement ring. I've lost the original stone already so am not about to lose this one.

Then again, it's not like I really need either to remind my child that his mother is loved. Am sure he knows I am, and how he is therefore blessed.

Mean Mom 2

How can I go from happy-calm to roaring mad?

I don't know why or how... but one minute I was okay, the next I was seeing myself hitting and violently shaking my son from anger and frustration. I was not able to control the sudden anger entirely... I ended up screaming at him.

Ugh.

I love him. And I really try my best to remain calm. And I try my best to be a fun parent. To be an understanding Mom.

Heaven help me. I really don't want to be mean to him...

*~*

At the homeschooling conference we attended, they said spanking your child when you're angry is being selfish, because you'd just be using the spanking to vent your anger, and not really to discipline the child.

And I know it's easier said than done... spanking and not being madat the same time. But I pray God will give me the grace for it.

Encounter with Formula

In a way, I am mourning that the day finally came.

On the other hand, I am not really as sad as I thought i'd be.

Hubs and I attended the 2nd Philippine Homeschooling Conference yesterday, which is an all day affair. We decided not to bring Yakee anymore since he'd be more likely disruptive and tired. But since he doesn't nurse as much anymorr, I thought it a bother to work on increasing my milk supply just so I can leave him some breastmilk.

So I bought a small box of Lactum instead, to tide him over for the day. As it happened, he only drank 100 ml of it and in a cup. Now, I really have to keep his bottles away since he obviously wouldn't be using them anymore.

And he's alright, after having taken in formula.

The world didn't crumble as I expected. :)

And he missed me and my breasts... and nursed with a vengeance all through the night. But still, my son has taken in formula and it wasn't the contamination i'd sort of thought it to be. I guess for him, it's like me drinking fresh milk.

Sigh. He's a big boy now really.