Ready to Pop

I am ready to pop now but I still insisted in being out for the weekend.

I attended a reunion of sorts with my former Grade 5 classmates and then Sunday, we went to the Global Pinoy Bazaar. This pic was taken after the reunion. I insist in wearing my Infinitude a different way each time. I couldn't wear it bacwards though because I cannot tie it around me anyymore due to my big belly. It sucks, really, since I can't wear it that way and still breastfeed once the baby is out. And yes, I look tired already here (twas past midnight when this was taken, I had to Photoshop some lipstick on me, haha) especially since all the cramming is making me lose sleep.

I bought a multi-wrap in cream from Laura's Shawl Couture and a mini-bento set in wine red from Eden at the bazaar. I am really crushing on the peach blush Infini (plus, it would bring some happy color to my wardrobe!) but I have to save up for it first. After all, I need nursing tanks more than I need shawls. The Multi-wrap was only P350 and I think I'd use it more than I ever will my boncho. Hehe.

Humbled and Grateful

I braved the aftermath of heavy rains today and kept my appointment with my OB, who turned up later than I did because she was caught in traffic herself.

I had to pay to cross two makeshift bridges along Taft going to CNR building and then faced a quandary of sorts at the corner of Taft and Apacible: do I finally wade in flood water or do I ride the rickety makeshift sidecars?

I opted to ride the sidecar and actually almost tipped over into flood water. I remember thinking of that woman who gave birth in the LRT and wondered if I will make the new myself if I give birth there and then. But God was with me and I managed to cross and reach my OB's clinic.

Two of the other patients who were ahead of me just had surgeries to remove cysts in their reproductive systems. One was given a 50-50 chance of conceiving and was advised to start saving up for IVF, which our OB deemed as her best bet in conceiving. That's around P500k without guarantees.

Another one was there for endometriosis and she was vocal about hoping to avoid surgery, not just because of the cost but also because she'd really rather she get operated on because she'll be having a baby.

All are childless still.

And there I was, stressing about delivery costs when God blessed me with not just the means to give birth at the hospital of my choice, but that He blessed me with child without having to go through what those women will be going through.

Of course, I know I am still entitled to stress and rant. I am entitled to my feelings after all. But with my contracting belly and throbbing yah-know, I was reminded of God's love for me and how it's such a privilege being who I am.

And so, I celebrate again the gift of motherhood... and silently offer others a prayer that those as deserving as I am be blessed as well.

Volunteer Opportunity/Casting Call for UNICEF

Got this in my FB:

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY/CASTING CALL!!! Looking for breastfeeding moms and babies willing to take part of a Unicef exhibit/campaign. Location will be at SM MOA and the theme is breastfeeding anytime, anywhere. Shoot dates will be anytime between Nov 10-17. Please email your photo (you and baby), not necessarily nursing to info@theperfectlatch.com along with you and your baby's details (name and age.) THANK YOU!..


I'd have given birth already by then and heck, I'd sure love to volunteer to such a cause. But I think my hubby will bop me on the head for even wanting to go to MOA after just giving birth.

But maybe I can run this by him and see how supportive he'll be.

Parenting Out of Fear

There are no guarantees.

From the viewpoint of fear,
None are strong enough.
From the viewpoint of love,
None are necessary. (Emmanuel Teney)

I have strived to not parent out of fear, though fear is such a strong motivation. So I have decided to choose which things I will fear instead that will motivate the kind of parenting I do and the kind of mother I become.

So, I allow my son some germs because he won't live and grow in a vacuum.

And I don't give him everything he wants or asks for, because it will not provide him with a realistic view of life.

And I don't feel guilty about not providing anything and everything money can buy, like enrolling him in everything there is, because I trust that what I don't help develop in him, he can grow up to find and develop himself.

I am more scared that he will grow up feeling entitled, not to my love, but to an easy life.

I am more scared that he will grow up not appreciating the consequences of his actions.

Or looking outside the family for company and guidance and good times. Or looking outside of himself for happiness and entertainment and fulfillment.

There are no guarantees. I just really hope that our brand of love will be enough.

PGH's Operation Foster Milk

The Lactation Unit and Human Milk Bank, Section of Newborn Medicine of the Department of Pediatrics of the Philippine General Hospital (PGH) is aiming to decrease newborn mortality and morbidity by protecting the mother and infant breastfeeding dyad and providing human milk to sick infants.

I like their slogan "Human Milk has no Substitute" and love that my son's pedia (Dr. Mantaring) is the Section Chief. And doesn't it just validate when a Human Milk Bank is placed under Newborn Medicine. Medicine. Human Milk cures and protects. It doesn't just nourish a baby.

Now, I still have a month before I can probably start donating milk to their bank since I'd be giving birth eight days from now and would let my milk get established first. I can just imagine pumping, something I really didn't like doing before, while watching fave blu ray movies or reading and thinking, at the back of my mind, that I am saving a baby's life other than my own.

What a privilege!

So please, if you are a lactating Mom or know anyone and want to help, call the Lactation Unit and Human Milk Bank at PGH: 554-8400 local 3418 and 3409. You can also e-mail operationfostermilk-pgh at yahoo dot com.

*~*

Also read "Maternal Health in the Philippines" and "Breastfeeding Saves Lives"

9 More Days

Nine more days before I become a mother of two.
Nine more days before I bid adieu
to just being all yours
to just having only you
to having an only child
to knowing only you.

Nine more days, my darling
and it's real bittersweet
A part of me longs for a pause
A part of me wants to retreat
And yet, I can't help but be excited
For yet another gift

It will take me awhile
I will need to mourn
And you will have to learn
to adjust and be strong
In your faith
in my love for you
For nothing in this world
Could ever be more true.

I sometimes wonder how
I could love another child
But I just know, it's a fact
Love only multiplies
So, just keep holding my hand, son
Know your place is still with me
And together, let's welcome your brother
and all his possibilities.

I will always love you best
because I loved you first
And then I will love your brother more
because I know how to better love.
And I will cherish you both
Equally and differently
As I raise you both as individuals
Despite both coming from me.

- a poem for both my Yakee and Yamee... as I realize yet again how true it is, that no one can possibly know, nor limit, how much a human heart can hold

Staying With In Laws

Because my cousin went home to the province for the Halloween season, and my son got sick for a while, we decided to stay at my MIL's where at least I'd have some company should emergencies arise. My MIL's home doesn't exactly have fancy Moen kitchen faucets or a home entertainment system but it's a really big house with lots of space that allows my son to play tag with anybody willing to run after him.

Weirdly enough though, my son has been asking to go home to Paco for the past three days already.

And my stomach has been giving me trouble for the past three days, which seems to mean we may have to stay here for several more days just until my cousin comes back. It's just great though that my son is behaving pretty well and cooperating with me when it's nap or sleep time. Plus, he leaves me alone pretty much most of the time, content to just play or watch.

It's really different to have a support system when you're pregnant and ready to pop!