All Barf

After being discharged from the hospital, I was okay for a while. Still a little weak and nauseated but I could manage the heat without aircon and could keep my food down. Plus, I wasn't spotting anymore.

And then came the election day heat. I should have appealed to my MIL's good nature and asked for the aircon use but I didn't. I let myself wallow in the heat last Monday which resulted in hypertensive feelings. And then I couldn't eat anymore. And I barfed what I couldn't eat. We had to stay another night because I was too weak and dizzy.

And then I started spotting again. And now need aircon 24/7. Just eating downstairs would give me the dizzies.

Barfing irritated my nose, which resulted in my allergic rhinitis badly triggered. Then the coughing and sneezing made me barf the little lunch I had. I had to ask my OB for an antihistamine I can safely take because I badly need relief. And I took Plasil again because I don't want to be barfing anymore.

I am truly, truly exhausted.

I have reached a point, many times, when I wished I didn't get pregnant in an El Nino year. As if that's better than an Ondoy year, no? Hay. This pregnancy has just really been tres difficult.

And you know what, I never thought i'd reach a point where I would actually feel better after barfing. I hate to barf so. And I have usually had the spirit to keep it at bay. But now...

Johnson's Baby Bedtime Discoveries

Nuffnang has just sent me an e-mail asking me to invite Mommy friends to a series of Johnson & Johnson's Bedtime Discoveries events. I assume this is open to Mommy bloggers.

Mommy EyeBall: Characteristics of a Good Baby Sleep
15 MAY 2010
9:30 AM - 12:00 NN
Café Via Mare
Level 1, Power Plant Mall, Lopez Drive Entrance
Rockwell Center, Makati City
~ ~ ~

Nursery 101: Creating a Sleep Environment
22 MAY 2010
9:30 AM - 12:00 NN
Café Sweet Inspirations
311 Katipunan Avenue, Loyola Heights, QC
~ ~ ~

Mommy & Me Sparty: Benefits of Touch Therapy
29 MAY 2010
9:30 AM - 12:00 NN
Seattle's Best Coffee
Ground Floor, Cyber One Mall,
Eastwood City, Libis, QC
~ ~ ~

Bedtime Stories: Bedtime Activities for Your Baby & Baby Lullabies
5 JUNE 2010
9:30 AM - 12:00 NN
Dome Café
Ground Level, Solid Mills Building,
Dela Rosa St., Legaspi Village, Makati City
~ ~ ~

Wrap Up! Mommy Gets Good Sleep
10 JULY 2010
9:30 AM - 12:00 NN
Figaro Coffee
Level 3, Robinson's Galleria, East Wing
EDSA cor. Ortigas Ave., QC
~ ~ ~



So pick a date and venue convenient to you and contact Trixie Esguerra / 09234576817 / trixie.esguerra@nuffnang.com to RSVP. Friends who have attended such gatherings before had loads of fun aside from going home with some freebies. Plus, you can easily consult with the fellow moms and speakers after on what's the top eye cream to use to tide you over those sleepless nights during the first months after delivery and exchange parenting and mommy tips on caring for a newborn. No support like a mommy support.

Reunited with Son

I really don't ever have to be checking out diet pill comparison literature because my son is an effective, natural way for me to lose all appetite and sleep.

But the first moments of having him lying beside me last night (we decided to let him sleep here with me in my hospital bed) was really bliss. I really felt myself calm down a lot. It felt like I was home.

Unfortunately, he decided it was fun jumping up and down my bed which got me dizzy and retching.

Plus, since he sleeps in so many different positions, at one point even resting his head on my legs, I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back to any sort of rest. After two hours of staring at his sleeping form, I decided I have had enough and went online.

He was cute and happy and all gimmick-y when he arrived here last night. We lost him to cartoons though. But before sleeping, he did let me finish telling him a story.

I really missed my darling little boy. And I thanked my in laws for adopting him for a few days. I could see he didn't feel neglected or abandoned at all. And that's all that matters.

The Visit

Yakee visited me in the hospital today. He actually cried out in glee when he saw his Ninang but seeing me was not such a big thing for him. He did kiss me, gave me an Eskimo kiss, and would stand near my bed, but wouldn't really ask to be held. I think he's being conflicted by his feelings, knowing I am still sick and possibly believing that he has to be a big boy and can do without Mommy.

Plus, he's having lots of fun. When my niece asked her Mom to go, Yakee echoed the sentiment. They wanted to go swimming again. And they did, in my niece's inflatable pool, till about 9:45 PM.

At least my in-laws aren't screaming for some prevera because Yakee was misbehaving. He's just really having a grand time vacationing. Now, we're even more worried that he might not like being brought back home. Haha.

It's bittersweet seeing how less and less he needs me as he grows older... but this is a testament to how secure he is that he is loved. And I take credit for that, with hubby of course. I am just blessed that my in laws really adore him too. And are really supportive.

Emo Mom

I asked for some space from Yakee and was wishful thinking about using the aircon 24/7. I got my wish in the form of confinement and hospital bills. For the first time ever in his life, he didn't sleep beside me. And I am actually cold from the a/c.

So I cried most of my afternoon yesterday, slept. Cried some more last night. It's not that I really worry he'd be crying and pining for Mommy... it's just that I wasn't ready for the separation. Plus I was feeling guilty already about not being in the best moods to play and read to him, and now this.

But he did tell me last night, "Mommy, don't worry. Yakee big boy."

Sigh.

He is a big boy already. Soon he may even be asking me about human growth hormone and what it does. Right now, he's hankering for swimming and playing with his cousin. And I think, stress eating.

Sigh.

Another Rant

Pregnancy really should be considered the best best diet pill of all, although of course, it isn't a pill and a pregnant mom's goal is not to lose weight.

Two days of barfing, extreme nausea and an overall feeling of uselessness. And to think I was looking forward to the first trimester ending. I am trying to remain hopeful though that the aggravated nausea is because my hormone levels are switching to 'normal' again. But gosh, am I hungry. I can't even drink water now without wanting to hurl.

Maybe I should have a go at those preggie pops downstairs, since my brother locked the screen door and I can't get to any cold milk. Sigh.

Yamee darling. Mommy is really, really exhausted now. Please, please cooperarte. Thank you. Love you.

Unproductive Insomnia

I was hormonally pissed last night and couldn't sleep so I was up till past 3 AM trying to work on my article for POC. Most nights of the week, I really think I need a variety of sleep aids just to make me feel well-rested. It sucks but the most comfort I get is telling myself it's training for when I am at the mercy of an infant again.

Sigh.

The thing is, I would either be awake till 3 or 4... or wake up around that time and be unable to sleep anymore. But I am still not getting things done. I am still not doing good in terms of meeting personal deadlines considering I am not exactly swamped with work right now. I often while away my time in message boards, looking for an opportunity to help and enlighten, but it's also just annoying having to repeat myself. Because ultimately, my good post will just be buried under all the new posts.

I am being unproductive. And haphazard in my thinking.

And I am losing sleep which makes me crankier than usual.